Blast From the Past
by The High Enquisitor Of Hogwarts
Summary: 1ST CHAP REVISED! James goes off to join a Quidditch team & Lily travels to France to study, write, paint, & photograph. They meet again 3yrs later, they're more MATURE, slightly SMARTER, & even HOttER! PLUS Sirius becomes a girl and James gets drunk!
1. Chapter 1: Holy Shit!

Blast From The Past

By The High Inquisitor of Hogwarts

Chapter 1: Holly Shit REViSED

Day: Fri, May 13

It was silent except for the quiet murmur of Lily whispering her Charms book's contents. And out of no where the portrait of the fat lady swings open and a whirlwind of sounds fill the Gryffindor Common Room

She heard drunken screams coming from downstairs and immediately knew James was involved

"WOOOOOO SPILL THE BEER JACKASS"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

And en masse a strong scent of intoxication slithered into her dorm as strongly as the Slytherin Serpent.

Lily was fuming as she stormed downstairs towards the stench.

She walked in as the 7th years lifted Potter up in the air by his knees and carried a drunken and soaked in beer captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team across the room.

"WHAT THE _HELL_ ARE YOU DOING? ITS 2:17 **AM** IN THE MORNIN'!"

"WE'RE PARTYIN' BITCH!" Boulanger yelled, immediately vomiting onto fireplace, extinguishing the ignited fire.

"Wow Lily! You almost stopped bein' a goody two shoes, come join the parrrrr_tay_" James fell drunk onto her shoulders.

"SHUT UP MORON"

"YAY! This time it isn't jackass" now completely boozed he hurtled on her and picked up another beer bottle from the floor

"God I love this muggle junk"

"You're so pathetic James"

"I'm in love, Lily"

"How can you say that? All you're in love with is a pretty face"

"Nah, I'm in love with a bootiful one"

_Laughter _

Lily stormed upstairs, knocking over crates of glass bottles, "and why the hell do you spill beer anyways? It's completely pointless, stupid, immature, and… and… downright **stupid**!"

"You already said stupid"

"Boohoo Lily made a grammatical mistake"

Lily opened the door into her dorm. She flopped onto the bed and started crying uncalled for tears.

"Lily, wus wrong?" Anna grumbled as she slid off of her bed to go and comfort her roomie.

"I…can't…I…just…I…hate him." Lily sobbed

"Why does he do this? Why can't he just be normal? Why does he have to play games like this? Why?"

"Aw man…what'd he do? I can go kick his ass, I swear, I will"

"no I mean its just that he's always pretending he has real feelings for me and before maybe he just liked how I look but now its almost as if he just wants to put on a show for his friends, if he was civilized and would grow up, he's 17 years old, its about time, I would consider him and we would probably have a chance but he just refuses to comprehend that to be in a relationship, you have to be a grownup not a silly child that has muggle _Playboy_ hidden under every cabinet"

"Oh… Lily I'm really sorry, I am, but shouldn't you tell him?" Anna said while stuffing a pillow under Lily's head, "He should know, he probably thinks he doesn't even have a chance"

"NO! I could never tell him! He'd think his genius "seduction" worked, but it didn't! Its when he doesn't even catch me looking, when I see him doing homework or talking to teachers, or sitting outside, reading, yeah he does that, he acts mature, smart, even dedicated to something, but then Sirius or Jean comes along and he takes out his wand and hangs Snape on a tree! I'm not too fond of Snape but that's a little harsh! You know? I'm so sorry I'm ranting, I think ill just sleep and I'm so sorry I woke you up, I promise I won't anymore, and thank you"

"Oh no lily its totally fine, think of all the times I've woken you up"

"Hah…"

As soon as everyone in the Girls Common Room was asleep James' silent footsteps graced the steps as he went back to the common room.

"Holy Shit"

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Ah I know it's just the first chapter I promise it'll get more interesting

Coming Up:

**Graduation** 33 fun stuff man

The more reviews I get the faster I'll update

Btw, thanks for all the wonderful and kind reviews on my first try, I hope this one is better to the people who left "helping" comments

the high inquisitor of Hogwarts


	2. Chapter 2: Thongs and Corsets!

Chapter 2: Thongs and Corsets! Oh and some Alcohol!

Day: Tues, June 07

"OH MY FUCKIN GOSH YOU LOOK **DROP DEAD** _GORGEOUS!_" screamed an excited Anna Berry.

"Really? Are you sure? It the bust too tight? How 'bout at the hips?"

"Lily, I'm serious, you're the sexiest beast I've ever seen! Never ever take that dress off!"

"I think I'll wait till graduation to put it out again, if I even buy it" Lily said slipping out of a ravishing white dress and looking at the all those numbers on the price tag.

She went back into the dressing room, took it off and changed into her robes. They had been shopping at Hogsmeade for most of the day getting stuff for graduation and the night after. Anna was freakishly rich and hated her parents. It was the perfect combination since she pretty much used all their money and gave most of it to her friends when shopping, like today. She already bought a new set of cosmetics and hair stuff from _Madame Delilah's_, a store across from _PixiDust_, their current store. It usually threw people off with the corny title but Lily and Anna went there all the time for clothes shopping.

"You HAVE TO buy that dress! It was like MADE for you!"

Lily stared at the dress. It was a pure white color with emerald stitching and an emerald ribbon around the waist. The dress was strapless with extravagant stitching of roses near the bust. There was a slightly outward skirt with a small trail. It was a simple sort of elegant, perfect for graduation.

"I really love it but did you even see that price? My earnings at _Rosemerita's_ for the past six months won't even cover a fraction!"

"Psh. Don't worry about it, my rents will cover it!"

"I cannot take that much money from you!"

"It's no biggie, why do you think they're lawyers?"

"I dunno…"

"If you don't buy that dress I will be eternally mad at you"

"ok ok…if you insist" Lily said and started to giggle madly

"Yay! Now we need to go get jewelry to match that dress!"

They started leaving until Lily realized they didn't get Anna a dress

"Oh yeah, crappit! Do you think I should get the pink, blue, or purple one?"

Lily thought about it and decided purple would go with Anna's mahogany hair, blue would go with her eyes but pink, pink was the color of her personality!

They walked through the portrait about four hours later and were covered with bags.

"Woah, need some help?" Sirius offered

"Yeah sure" Anna said, dumpin her bags on Sirius then took Lily's and levitated them above Sirius's head

"Haha, nice" Remus chuckled from behind his book, "We thought you guys like died, how can girls spend so much time shopping and not get bored?"

"It's a skill" Lily said with her fake attitude

"Hah! By the way, what'dya get?"

"Dresses and makeup and stuff for grad…" Lily said

"AND THONGS AND CORSETS!" screamed Anna "oh and some alcohol!"

"No Anna, that was all you"

"Why do you two girls wear makeup, your ugly enough as it is without putting paint on yourself" Sirius snickered

"That's it!" Anna jumped up

"_Rivyanachio_!"

Out of no where Sirius jumped up hit the ceiling and came down wearing a ballet tutu, no shirt and as most probably have guessed, makeup

massive laughter

"What the fuck! Change me back!"

And again, out of no where Sirius jumped up hit the ceiling and developed bra-covered boobs.

Lily and Remus covered there mouths to keep from laughing hysterically

"YOU ARE SICK!"

"ok… so to males, a women that had what you are exhibiting here would be attractive, you know big boobs, cleavage, a short skirt and stuff drawn on her face" Anna lectured with a completely serious face while Lily and Remus were rolling on the floor laughing.

"ok ok I get it! When will I change back!"

"In 24 hours"

"WHAT? I'LL HAVE BOOBS FOR 24 FRICKIN HOURS!"

"yah, you have to pay the price"

"I'm so goin' to bed"

snicker from Lily and Remus

A/N

I know I know, it was a little short not too much info, but in the next chappie, SIRIUS IS A GIRL! Haha, Graduation finally arrives and then the following chap it'll describe their lives after school then in like 5 or 6 chappies they meet again!

R & R

PS. Thanks for comment$

Nikki101, LilJester, Evenstar, The all mighty and powerfulM, XxStephXx, cuteidanix, Ponee, and irishpheonix

Thanks so much! You really helped me kept writing!


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